124:

when will it actually be cold I’m not going to be content until I’m freezing to death

(via yeap-thats-me)

darkbluetile:

thebrownskingirl:

You are so used to your features, you don’t know how beautiful you look to a stranger.

I can’t believe I’m even more beautiful than I think I am this is incredible where’s my modeling contract

(via this-67-impala)

rain-force:

plot twist: you scream to your mom who’s in her room to come to the table because you already made the dinner

(via captain-of-the-friend-ship)

supernatural-tardis:

i had a crush on this guy and i decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him  this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to see me and i swear it was the evilest thing but also the most hilarious i made a guy like me by conditioning him into associating me to a candy he liked

(via rude-little-witch)

tsarbucks:

no i’m not gonna lend you my pencil because if i lend you my pencil then you’ll want my calculator and then you’ll want austria and czechoslovakia and then you’ll end up invading poland and i will not have that shit

(via waapfu)

  • Parent: what does a cow say?
  • Baby: "moo!"
  • Parent: yes! And what does a sheep say?
  • Baby: "baah!"
  • Parent: yay! And what does a pig say?
  • Baby: *whistles* "damn babygirl u a fine piece'a ass wanna hop n my car n ill drive ya to pound town!!"

fovelshucker:

DONT BE FRIENDS WITH ME I LAUGH AT MY OWN JOKES FOR YEARS

(Source: actuallybadcop, via deanvviinchester)

inactiveblogger:

october will soon be octover 

(via spoopyalphakiss)

anderskarl:

"girls only play video games to get guys" yeah fictional video game guys

(via spoopyalphakiss)

voidwish:

i’m in bed and was wondering where my cat is so i was all “oh I’ll just text him” and opened the messages app before i realized what i was doing

(via angels-they-re-falling)

iwritesinsnotfanfiction:

burns every piece of evidence that shows i lived before the age of 14

(via hannibals-willy)